Sunday, January 27, 2013

The Awakening (2011)

Over the past week or so I've had this movie shoved down my throat from advertisements all over the internet, saying how great of a horror movie it is. Obviously, it made the list.

A horny young educated woman in 1921 has become famous for debunking ghost sitings and exposing psychics as frauds. She is called upon by a gentleman who works at a boarding school for boys, claiming he believes the boarding school is actually haunted and needs her help. Aside from becoming aroused at inappropriate times (I'm assuming to distract the audience), she uncovers more than she had hoped for (pun intended). Twists and turns unravel the truth behind what's really going on at the boarding house and the truth is... well, predictable.

What a great drama...

1. First and foremost, this is by no means a horror movie. There are a couple of scenes with a computer-generated face that's been disfigured, but it's no scarier than anything you've seen on the Sci-fi channel. This movie is about a ghost that misses his childhood friend and the struggles he's faced. It is 100% drama. I'm so tired of movies being advertised incorrectly, wasting two hours, waiting for something to scare me, when "scary" isn't even what the movie is going for.

2. I was really hoping they weren't going to go all "The Others" on me and have everyone be dead, which they didn't. Instead, she is haunted by the ghosts of her memories, a young boy, and a perverted driver that always walks around with a shotgun. Perfect. Just what I was looking for. Yeah, the struggles of a forgotten childhood and lost friend really scare the shit out of me. Again, thanks for the false advertising.

3. It really sucks you in with the whole "Ghost killing someone" story in the beginning. As it turns out, the ghost was just seeing if the boy was alright, and the boy got scared and died from his asthma. Also the ghost feels really bad about it, so don't be mad at him okay? He didn't know any better. I can't comprehend anything more pathetic in a horror movie than a ghost crying out of shame. Oh wait, that's right, this isn't a horror movie. It's a damn heart-touching drama.

4. The ghost poisons the young woman near the end of the movie, then feels really bad about it and saves her. I'm speechless right now. I have no words. There are no words to describe the level of disappointment I have with this horror movie. Oh, THAT'S RIGHT. It's a tear-jerking kleenex-grabbing bawl-your-eyes-out-until-you-die-of-dehydration DRAMA!

5. AHHH!!!!


In closing, it's not a bad movie, just a bad horror movie - as it was advertised. If you enjoy a decent story and good acting then you'll enjoy this movie. It's just a shame it wasn't advertised as a drama, because the people out there looking for a good drama might pass this up thinking it is a horror movie. Please advertise responsibly.

1 out of 4

Avoid this one.


Cheers and goodnight.


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