Sunday, August 9, 2015

The Gallows (2015)

Back in 1993, a school play went horribly wrong when a young boy was accidentally hung to death on stage. Twenty years later, the school is putting on the same play, but things go awry when a group of trouble-making teens decide to break in and destroy the set for some reason. What follows is everyone dying and loud noises. Here we go...

Immediately, I am thrown off my some smartass teenager who takes it upon himself to run around and harass people while recording it with his camera. For some reason, no one has the balls to say anything to the punk, and I'm guessing his father is missing in action so we as the audience are forced to experience the film through the perspective of an asshole - a unique perspective difficult to find outside of a colonoscopy. Had it not been for the fact that I had no expectation going into the film, I would have turned it off for the sole reason of not having to listen to that annoying voice any longer. Alas, I stuck through it so I could give a complete opinion of the film for you guys, so take heed.

Getting to the point, this is a found footage trash-terpiece, so it comes with all of the inherent problems of a found footage film: Several scenes with just a blank screen, audio cutting in and out for no reason, blurry scenes while running, the question of why something is being recorded if the characters in the film are controlling the cameras, the list goes on and on. At this point, I feel like I'm just repeating myself with these found footage reviews because everyone does the same shit over and over. The originality is lost, and has been lost for quite some time. Please, stop making these found footage movies. I'm over them. Everyone is over them. Stop.

Rather than use any form of imagination, the creators of the film instead rely completely on loud, banging, jump-scares to try and scare the audience. Throughout the film, any time a quiet scene takes place, it is immediately interrupted by a loud noise and a shaky camera. It's predictable, ridiculous, and quite frankly annoying. I found the constant banging and general loud noises to be very disruptive to the scene, and they tried my patience. Putting up with obnoxious sounds shouldn't be something you have to worry about when trying to follow a movie. It's not scary. It's stupid. Stop.

Toward the end of the film we finally get to see the killer ghost dude man, who resembles a cheap version of Scarecrow from Batman. By the way, if the kid died when he was you know, a kid, why is his ghost all grown up and out of shape? The ghost is clearly an adult which is not explained at all in the film. Speaking of unexplained events, how is the girl the daughter of the ghost? I guess the teenage girl was pregnant when the kid was killed in 1993, but if that is the case, why wait so long to get your revenge? And if we're being honest, why not go after the guy that called in sick resulting in the kid's death back then? You know, the dad of the now main character, the guy responsible for the death in the first place - what about him? That might have made for decent closure footage, but instead we get two bumbling cops entering the home of the killer's family and getting killed by the scarecrow ghost man dude. Brilliant.

In closing, I'm not sure who this movie is made for. Teenagers? Douche bags? Douche bag teenagers? I don't know, but it wasn't made for horror fans. It's cliche, annoying, and stupid. Stay away.

1 out of 4.

If I could give it a zero, I would.

Cheers and goodnight.

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