Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Woman in Black (2012)

Prepare yourself for one hell of a depressing movie. My god.

The opening scene depicts three sisters having a tea party, then jumping out a window. This leads to the introduction of Daniel Radcliffe's character who sees visions of his wife that died giving birth to their son - and we're just getting started. He works at a bank and has been given the responsibility of selling a house whose previous owner just committed suicide. When he arrives in town, the innkeeper puts him up in the same room from the opening scene, letting us know they were the innkeeper's children. Fast forward to the plot - the woman who committed suicide in the house he's trying to sell has come back from the dead to kill everyone's children. Her son died a while back, and now she is taking her revenge out on everyone else's kids.

Oh boy...

1. There's a 23-minute scene of Daniel just walking around, with no dialogue, before the scene finally changes. I understand trying to build suspense, but at least have some diversity. 23 minutes of him hearing a noise, walking down a hallway, loud bang, walking down the stairs, loud bang, going back up to the hallway, on and on and on.

2. So many cutaway's to dolls' faces. I've never seen a movie outside of 'Dead Silence' try and use so many close-ups of dolls as a means of being scary. I get it, the dolls look creepy, but that's not enough to be scary. It's not like the dolls are alive; they just sit there. Someone in the props department was obviously really proud of those things.

3. I've watched him go down the same hallway probably a dozen times as slowly as he can possibly walk, as if it's building up to something, when you know it's just the same silent build up to a loud noise, like it has been the other eleven times.

4. I have no idea why movie-makers think depressing is the same thing as scary. When you're not watching Daniel Radcliffe walk around in silence, you're witnessing children killing themselves in town, or hearing about how other children have killed themselves, or seeing Daniel Radcliffe's wife die giving birth. It's sad as hell, but sad isn't scary.

5. The end of the film has Daniel going through the effort of finding the ghost's son and giving him a proper burial, as a means to appease her spirit. Okay, I can go along with that. Then she lures his 4-year old son in front of an oncoming train. Aside from being a dick move on the ghost's part, this ending doesn't accomplish anything. The movie is about a ghost that makes children commit suicide with no resolution in the end.

In closing, if you're one of those freaks who enjoyed 'The Happening', and just can't get enough of depressing movies, definitely check this one out. If, however, you prefer being scared or just being entertained, don't waste your time on this one.

 2 out of 4

Great actors, so-so plot, and some good horror elements.

Cheers and goodnight.

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