Sunday, March 17, 2013

Leprechaun Back 2 Tha Hood (2003)

The movie opens with an alcoholic priest trying to kill a rainbow with a shovel. Leprechaun shows up to claim his gold, but the priest manages to use Holy (four-leaf clover) water to banish him to Hell underneath a playground. Fast forward to one year later and we get to the plot. 50 cent and Rosie Perez are on the run from DMX who has a compulsion with stealing shoes. The movie takes a sudden change to clips from Barbershop 2, when suddenly we see Nick Cannon on a motorcycle attacking members of DMX's gang. Rosie Perez and her friend meet a fortuneteller who claims they will find riches beyond their wildest dreams before having an orgasm and seeing flashes of Leprechaun - and that's just the first fifteen minutes.

Not the Leprechaun I remember...

1. We don't see Leprechaun until thirty minutes into the movie, and even then he's so high that he bumps into walls, knocks things off counters, and falls down with a cartoon sound effect. He actually manages to kill someone with a bong, but shortly after gets locked in a fridge while searching for munchies. Does he use magic to escape? Does he spout off a clever rhyme and try to kill the man that locked him in the fridge? No. He gets high.

2. Leprechaun's kills are no longer witty, rhyming gory scenes. You would think that taking away the hilarity would add to the horror, but instead he gets into slap-fights, struggling with his victims in hand-to-hand combat, and finally kills them off camera. In one scene, Leprechaun attempts to chase his victims in a stolen car... but his feet can't reach the pedals.

3. The soap opera after school special that's going on for the entirety of the film is UNBEARABLE. Apparently, this movie isn't about Leprechaun at all. Nick Cannon is in a complicated relationship with some woman - that's the movie. Leprechaun shows up every once in a while, but he gets his ass kicked repeatedly.

4. The charming, clever personality of Leprechaun is non-existent in this movie. He apparently has no magical powers, either. With his personality and powers gone, how else could they screw him up? By making him the weakest character in the whole film. Reduced to fighting with fists and pocket knives, Leprechaun is constantly overpowered by every other character in the movie. Have I mentioned yet that Leprechaun has a gold front tooth?

5. It's hard to keep up with some of the characters if you don't speak only in vowels, but I have a feeling they don't contribute much to the story, anyway. You don't need to understand them to realize this is a horror-ble movie. It was a mental workout just sitting and watching this for an hour and a half without taking a book and bashing my own brain in. And yet, I stuck through it just so I could tell you all about it.

In closing, whether you're a fan of the original Leprechaun or even Leprechaun In Space, you won't find this movie enjoyable. I doubt any of you will even find it watchable. Although it sucked, it provided excellent material, and I hope you enjoy reading about it as much as I didn't enjoy watching it. Happy St. Patrick's day.

1 out of 4

Avoid this one.

Cheers and goodnight.

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