Let's re-learn those ABC's...
A is for...
An assassin in seen infiltrating an apartment complex and killing his target. Then, the film rewinds and we see the same assassin arriving at the apartment complex, going through an obstacle course of nails and bugs, and eventually getting stuck in the air vent. Three weeks later, we see one of the men in the apartment complaining about the smell while another pokes at the vent with a broom. The assassin's body falls out of the vent and his gun goes off, killing the target anyway.
A is for Amateur.
B is for...
An asshole documentary host is shown verbally abusing the cameraman and producer of a documentary they are shooting regarding the nuclear power plant and recent evacuation of the badger population. The men begin arguing, until something grabs the host and sucks him into a hole in the ground. The lower half of the man shoots up from the ground twenty feet away and lands near the cameraman. Then, the upper half of the host shoots up from the ground and lands next to them, after which the host mumbles "Cut."
B is for Badger.
C is for...
A man is wrongfully accused of killing a teenage girl and is bound to a chair by the people that live in the town. Attempting to end the madness, the man lies and admits to killing her, only to be driven to the middle of the woods. Meanwhile, we see a news report that the girl has been found alive, and had only ran away from home. Two men get in their car and race to the woods to stop the man from being killed, but end up dying in a car wreck on the way. The wrongfully accused man is forced down onto a log, after which a man sloppily attempts to cut off his head with an axe. After several hits, his head finally falls to the ground.
C is for Capital Punishment.
D is for...
This one is a clay-mation video shot in a very Tool-esque manner that displays a man being killed by three other men. One of the men kills a bug on his way out of the room, triggering the corpse of the bug to spout a portal of some sort that spawns an even larger bug. The larger bug climbs on the table and eats the hand of the man that was killed. Blood shoots from his head, which in turn forms a new body for the man. The man walks around to the backside of the bug and opens a lid that is fastened to the bug's butt. He hears a voice that says "Welcome back. You must pay for life." So, the man cuts off the heads of his killers and one by one plops them into the opening of the bug's butt. Inside the butt, we see a clown head sewn onto a panda teddy bear. The panda/clown rotates, and the panda eats the heads of the men. The decapitated bodies of the men he killed then saw off his head and feed it to the panda, killing him again, as well.
D is for Deloused.
E is for...
Two men are stranded on an island. They discover a woman who has washed up on shore and they appear to live in harmony. Until one day, the woman becomes affectionate with one of the men, sparking jealousy in the other. The men begin fighting, and the woman urges the one man to kill the other. Instead, the man throws a rock at the woman, killing her, and the men are then seen living together in harmony once again. A rock pile in the sand reads "Please send beer."
E is for Equilibrium.
F is for...
A female Israeli soldier is seen stuck in a tree while attached to her parachute. A young Palestinian boy comes across her and points his rifle at her. She convinces him to cut her down, which results in her landing on and breaking her leg. Surprised, the Palestinian boy drops his rifle and it goes off, shooting him in the head. She lays down next to the boy as a truck full of militant Palestinians pulls up to them.
F is for Falling.
G is for...
An old man and his grandson are seen drinking and smoking cigars by the fireplace. All the while, the young man is complaining about the liquor. The old man eventually goes to bed, followed by his grandson. The grandson feels a poking from under the sheets and rips them off to reveal his grandfather, dressed like him, sleeping in the cut out mattress underneath. The old man says he's been sleeping there all along, and that he hates his grandson. He says his grandson has been cramping his style ever since he moved in, and then stabs his grandson in the neck with some kind of knife attached to his finger. The grandfather then pulls down his own underwear to reveal that he has no penis.
G is for Grandad.
H is for...
A completely hand drawn silent sketch of a man and woman attacking one another with their tongues, eyes, ears, noses, and various other body parts until they kill each other.
H is for Head Games.
I is for...
An Asian family is seen trying to kill their elderly relative in order to inherit her fortune by stabbing, shooting, burning, and bludgeoning her to no avail. She just won't die. Eventually, the elderly woman spits out some kind of stone which another relative inadvertently swallows. The old woman then falls to the floor, dead.
I is for Invincible.
J is for...
A man's father hires a private detective to follow his son to prove his suspicions that his son is indeed gay. After which, he has his son kidnapped by religious lunatics who torture him and claim he must be possessed by a demon that is making him gay. The young man is told his lover has been killed, and just before he is clamped to a car battery, he begins bleeding from his palms and head. Through the young man's eyes, the men torturing him look like aliens. Then, his lover appears, all white and covered in blood, carrying a big stick. He bludgeons the one torturer to death, and burns the other with an upside down cross at the end of a branding iron.
J is for Jesus.
K is for...
A young woman stands out on the balcony of her apartment where she witnesses a giant, oil-like sphere hovering above the neighboring apartment building. The black liquid disappears and one by one, everyone in the adjacent building begins killing one another. They all turn and face the woman, who backs into her apartment and closes the door. She hears knocking, goes to her door, and a black liquid oozes from the peephole on the door. She begins menstruating and the blood runs down her legs and across the floor, eventually combining with the black liquid.
K is for Knell.
L is for...
An African tribe is about to sacrifice the King's son, when one of the men stops the ritual. He instead kills a rat, which triggers some kind of black, furry monster to appear and start killing everyone in the tribe.
L is for Legacy.
The costume is a joke. The way the deaths are depicted make them look like they were done in flash. It's really that cheap looking. This is probably the worst one in the movie so far.
M is for...
This film is a slow motion display of a man running down the street, knocking people over, eyes dilated, biting half of another man's face off, and eventually getting shot and killed by a cop. The movie then flashes back to earlier where we see the same man agreeing to do some bath salts.
M is for Masticate.
N is for...
A film done with quick edits and shaky cameras, this one shows a man on Halloween dressed as Frankenstein's monster trying to get across town on his bike. Meanwhile, a cab driver is being yelled at by a customer in the back seat while he is simultaneously trying to solve a crossword puzzle. The woman that is waiting on the man dressed as Frankenstein's monster is giving candy to a trick-or-treater dressed as a skeleton. Eventually, the cab driver hits the Frankenstein biker and kills him, sending the bike flying and killing the child who was getting candy from the young woman.
N is for Nexus.
The answer to the crossword puzzle the cab driver is trying to solve is also Nexus.
O is for...
A woman is held on trial by zombies who claim she murdered people infected with the zombie disease instead of waiting for them to be cured by a drug that was only recently invented. She is found guilty and sentenced to death by electric chair.
O is for Ochlocracy (mob rule)
P is for...
Three stuttering idiots wander around in the dark, dressed in cartoon-ish jailbird uniforms. They find a man in a rocking chair holding a baby, appearing to be asleep. The man wakes up, starts river dancing and Irish music begins playing. One man sneezes and the music stops, the dancing man laughs maniacally and blows out the candle in the lantern. They light the lantern, and again the man blows it out. They light it once more, and this time one of the stuttering fools vanishes before the lantern is blown out. The lantern is lit again and again is blown out by the dancing man who now has a distorted face. Another stuttering idiot vanishes, and the lantern is lit again. The dancing man's face is now completely distorted and he blows out the lantern again. When the lantern is lit for a last time, the dancing man is now holding the baby again. The baby has the same face as the dancing man, and this time the baby blows out the lantern.
P is for P-P-P-P Scary.
Q is for...
A man is taking a free intelligence test at a booth on a street, answering questions being asked by a cheerful woman. During the questioning, we see clips of the man being forced down and having the top of his head cut off. Scientists remove his brain and simultaneously remove the brain of a gorilla on a table next to his. The scientists then put the man's brain into the gorilla's head and sew it up. The gorilla's eyes open and stare at the camera.
Q is for Questionnaire.
R is for...
This one is a black and white film of a young couple and another man taking turns pointing a revolver at themselves and pulling the trigger in a game of Russian Roulette. When the gun clicks five times, the man accepts he is the one who will die, but instead shoots his young female lover in the head. Then, the two men prepare themselves for whatever fate awaits them from the creatures who have heard the shot from upstairs and are now scurrying toward them.
R is for Roulette.
S is for...
A man apparently on a business trip in France calls home to his wife only to hear a burglar break in and kill his wife and baby with a hammer. The burglar takes off her mask and tells him she wants to speak to her husband. He tells the man in his bed that it is his wife on the phone.
S is for Split.
T is for...
A young woman is being recorded and subjected by a porn film director to abrasive language and physical roughness when she opens her eyes, inducing a red-lit strobe effect. A bunch of penises shoot out of her vagina like tentacles as she begins to anally and orally rape everyone in the room.
T is for Torture Porn.
U is for...
Set in a futuristic society where everyone seen is in perfect physical shape, wearing expensive clothing and pristine hair and jewelry, a slightly chubby man with a receding hairline and disheveled clothing stumbles and falls onto the floor. Everyone stops and takes a photo with their phones, which scan his face and call a robot. The robot rolls up with police lights atop a black, metal shell. The robot spears the man in the back, sucks him into the shell, and burns him alive. Everyone claps and continues what they were doing.
U is for Utopia.
V is for...
A young man is talking on the phone to his wife using FaceTime while on vacation to the beach with his friend. His friend steps outside and snatches the phone from him, showing his friend's wife the room in which they are staying. Atop the dresser we see bottles of liquor and piles of cocaine, and a half-naked woman comes out of the bathroom and the man's wife is heard crying on the phone. We then see a nude woman asleep on a bed, whom we learn is the mother of the other woman in the room. His friend finally breaks into the room and tells his wife that he didn't sleep with anyone and that the women were sleeping with his friend. He grabs the phone and goes back out to the balcony, when we see the woman asleep on the bed wake up and stab his friend repeatedly with a screwdriver. The young man drops his phone and is pushed off the balcony of the hotel. The nude woman picks up the phone and stares at the screen.
V is for Vacation.
W is for...
A couple of kids are playing with a toy and say they wish they were fighting alongside their action figure hero in real life. They are transported to the imaginary world in which they were playing, only to be taken prisoner by monsters. One child is taken to the evil leader, who burns the child alive by revealing his face to him. The other child is "rescued" by an old man who makes the child get in a sack before riding off into the sunset, while the child screams from the sack.
W is for Wish.
X is for...
An older woman is rocking in her chair, listening to a little girl play on a xylophone in the middle of the floor. The child begins banging harder and harder on the xylophone until finally, the woman gets up from her chair and the scene goes quiet. A couple arrive at the house, presumably the parents of the child, and we hear the xylophone. The camera pans, and we see the older woman playing the little girl's ribcage like a xylophone in the middle of the floor, with the girl's body completely obliterated as if it had exploded.
X is for Xylophone.
Y is for...
A young Asian girl is seen sitting in a crappy apartment with her father strumming on a guitar and her mother putting on makeup. The girl is typing a text message, saying her father let her dog die out of pure laziness and neglect. She says her father teaches guitar lessons from home and is too lazy to shower or even take out the trash. The girl says her mother only fed her junk food while she was growing up because she was too lazy to cook, and when she did feed her, she disregarded the girl's food allergies. This resulted in the girl to have break-outs which left her permanently scarred on her face. While we hear the girl's thoughts, we see images from her imagination of a killer hamburger, her father choking on a guitar, and a prosthetic penis made of french fries. We see scars on her wrist where she has been cutting herself, but instead of cutting herself again, she decides to kill her parents.
Y is for Youth.
Z is for...
A pregnant woman is seen holding her stomach, begging her husband not to leave. Her husband says he has to go, but he will be back. He hands her a jar of some type of root, which he explains should stall the pregnancy for a while until he gets back. Thirteen years later, we hear a ringing and we see the woman is still pregnant, now with a giant stomach. She crawls outside and gets the cat she has trapped, all the while conversing with her unborn child within her womb. The woman cries out in agony in the floor while her child explains that it needs to come out in order to cease the pain, but the mother cries and says she doesn't want her child to leave her like her husband did. While inside her body, her child snaps her spine and says it's never going to leave her. The child then begins to break every bone in her body from within her body and throw it out through her mouth. Piece by piece, bone by bone, organ by organ, until the woman's skin is all that remains. The child then wears its mother's skin and cleans up the house. We then see the woman's husband finally return, at which point the child in the woman's skin explains that she couldn't keep the child and was forced to cut it out herself. The man says they need to try again, and unzips her dress.
Z is for Zygote.
I have to admit, that last one was kind of difficult to sit through. By far, it has to be one of the bloodiest, most gory scenes I've ever witnessed. With that having been said, this movie blows away the first ABC's of Death by far. Supposedly, the creators of the franchise added a "No farts" clause to the contract after the debauchery of the first film and the letter F. Considering the quality of the films this time around (excluding P and L), it's apparent the filmmakers are taking this more seriously. Most of these really had me sitting in silence, with no complaints or otherwise sarcastic remarks, which is way more than I can say for the first film. I do have to say, however, that a lot more children died in this movie. I wasn't expecting that.
In closing, I would absolutely recommend giving this one a watch. There are a few scenes in the first film that are worth watching, but the majority of this movie is absolutely original and worth the watch.
3 out of 4.
The concept alone of 26 directors being given free reign over 26 short films makes it worth a watch. The quality of the films themselves is an added bonus.
Cheers and goodnight.
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